Episode 25 · 1 October 2026 · 36 min
Sex and what we want
with Ally Iseman, Founder of Passport 2 Pleasure
Why is it so much harder to ask for what we want in bed than anywhere else in our lives?
A lot of us are good at asking for what we want in most areas of life, yet when it comes to intimacy and long-term relationships, the stakes suddenly feel much higher. You don't want to upset the applecart. You don't want “I want something different” to land as “you've been doing something wrong.” So sometimes it feels easier not to say anything at all.
Ally Iseman, founder of Passport 2 Pleasure, on why having intimacy and enjoying intimacy are not necessarily the same thing, why relationships can become something we think we've “arrived at” rather than something that keeps evolving, and how to bring curiosity and novelty back in.
Core themes explored
- Why asking for what you want feels harder in bed than anywhere else
- Having intimacy and enjoying intimacy are not the same thing
- Relationships as something that keeps evolving, not something you've arrived at
- Bringing curiosity and novelty back into a long-term relationship